Schwirm
Schwirm (verb): To schwirm is the act of masturbating with a large piece of raw liver (example: calf liver) to achieve that 'lifelike feel'. Bonus points if the 'user' warms the liver to body temperature in a microwave. Double the fun if they then prepare and eat the liver!
I walked into the kitchen and my roommate was standing beside the stove, schwirming!