Scientifically Accurate Ducktales

Lyrics of Scientifically Accurate Ducktales:

Did you know ducks are necrophiles?
That's duck science
They don't have sphincters, dump in piles
That's why ducks don't buy pants

And we have to face this
Male ducks are rapists!

DuckTales! Whoo-ooh!
Scientifically accurate
DuckTales! Whoo-ooh!
Crazy, pooping birds should go to duck jails...

Then there's the whole pool of gold
Scrooge won't write a check
And whether he was young or old
If he dived in, he'd break his neck

A gold pile looks neat
But it's hard as concrete!

DuckTales! Whoo-ooh!
Scientifically accurate--

D-D-D-Danger, a duck's behind you
Boy or girl, a duck will grind you
Also, ducks are cannibals, true

DuckTales! Whoo-ooh!
Have salmonella and H5N1 bird flu! Whoo-ooh!
Scientifically accurate
DuckTales! Whoo-ooh!

Last verse is on genitalia
So stay in your places
Because ducks hump so much,
Girl ducks have vagina mazes

To screw around this,
Ducks grew a corkscrew phallus!

DuckTales! Whoo-ooh!
Disgusting, crapping, cannibalistic
DuckTales! Whoo-ooh!
Penis in the shape of a corkscrew
DuckTales!