scott morrison

An american agent sent by the money-grubbing cult (publicly known as hillsong) to dismantle Australia and sell everything that is not bolted down to expand your owners' life of luxury (your real owners mentioned by George Carlin in "the big club" narrative) and to lay the groundwork for an upcoming draconian austerity regime headed by peter dutton a-ka spud for the masses with the total mass surveillance police state and all-encompassing government control making orwellian world look like a dreamland. A firm believer in a theory of a golden billion, although will obviously never confirm that until mechanisms which will put that theory into practice will become irreversible. A schemer, a space invader disguised as your average soccer dad, and just a cool and normal person who is always ready to recommend a friendly chaplain when your kids need some "spiritual guidance" to distract them from relentless bullying and make it look like they're being helped (but if you're part of his get-together that is)

When someone is in McDonalds but doesn’t have time to find a toilet, they do a poo in their trousers.

The big Daddy of coal. Literally I think his mum and dad is coal geez he really loves his Coal. Also he is probably be the reason Australia falls to bush fires lol

A devoted Cronulla Sharks fan who frequents Engadine McDonalds

He also is the prime minister of Australia, but that doesn't matter

A fucking mint euphemism for taking a shit. (Replaces taking a "Chad Kroeger", who has since been dethroned.)

A dude who did a pretty good job at running Australia until the bush fires when he went to Hawaii with his family and therefore fucking up his reputation

(a) horrible politician.