screwdriver in paradise
The act of self-fellatio, not swallowing the resulting jism. Then, using a bendy straw in the shape of either a flamingo or the participant's name, force the jism into your partner's vaginal or anal cavity through means of blowing.
Me and the old ball and chain are gonna go try for a kid, but her cunt is a little too rancid for my richard, so I'm gonna do the old Screwdriver in Paradise method instead.