selfish sympathy
Regretful soothing words dat you administer to someone else to supposedly make him feel better about a situation, but in reality you merely feel sorry for YOURSELF.
A classic "selfish sympathy" example, from an old "Peanuts" comic:
Schroeder, in exasperation at Lucy's pushy "over-attentiveness": Do you know what Beethoven never had?!
Lucy: What?
Schroeder, rantingly waving his arms above his head: Beethoven never had girls hanging on to his piano and bugging him about giving them presents!
Lucy, mildly shocked: He DIDN'T?! (pauses to ponder this fact) Poor Beethoven!
Schroeder, in exasperation at Lucy's pushy "over-attentiveness": Do you know what Beethoven never had?!
Lucy: What?
Schroeder, rantingly waving his arms above his head: Beethoven never had girls hanging on to his piano and bugging him about giving them presents!
Lucy, mildly shocked: He DIDN'T?! (pauses to ponder this fact) Poor Beethoven!