Self Serve Blumpkin
Similar to a Blumpkin except there is no second party involved. The self serve consists of jerking off while taking a dump. The self serve happens much more regularly because you do not have convince a slore to blow you when taking a crap.
Mike muth was on the prowl for a blumpkin but wasn't coming up with a suitable candidate, therefore he had to resort to the classic self serve blumpkin.