semen trees

Commonly located in business parks across commercial America, these trees blossom in early spring and produce beautiful, multi-petaled white flowers - which happen to smell exactly like semen.

Another name for the Bradford Pear, and ornamental pear tree. Characterized by greenish-white flowers which smell like a cross between old semen, dirty vagina, and rotting fried shrimp. Common throughout the South, these trees are pleasantly located near eateries and other fine establishments.

Also known as "Pyrus calleryana Chanticleer" trees (or ornamental pear trees). They smell like jizz, especially when in bloom. People plant them all the time around the Bay Area. Yay. Let's make the whole neighborhood smell like used sex rags. Nice one.

noun, tree sap or insect honeydew, secreted by insect colonies living in branches. Commonly found on cars parked under a large trees. The liquid is sticky and difficult to remove, residuals are white in colour and can damage paint work when dried. Removal becomes increasingly difficult as the tree semen dries up.