Senor Cardgage

Ultra cool dude with a wicked combover who smells like pea soup and likes to speak in catch phrases that are almost one word and not quite another.

An ugly, dumpy version of Strong Bad with a beer belly and a comb-over. Walks around with a grocery bag from Aldi which is full of unknown contents, save for a melty candy bar which he chews on very loudly while standing too close to you in line. Has a tendency to say things that are not quite one thing, and not quite another. See below for example. He is believed to smell like Pea Soup. Also, he lives behind a bush and pops out as you walk by. He's so cool, you don't even know he's cool. Recently opened a Mortgage service.

An older version of strong bad with a beer gut, a combover, a goatee, and a plastic grocery bag which could contain one of the following: Cold pizza, rotten vegtables, the shattered remains of his former life, or melty candy bars that he eats really noisily while standing to close to you in line.
He refers to men as women, and mumbles strange phrases. He runs a mortgage firm.