Señor Bitey
A mild-mannered kitten's pointy-toothed alter-ego who appears without warning and in the flash of an eye, like a furry little Luis Suarez; the physical manifestation of a feline's inner savage.
ME, PETTING A CAT: Who's a gorgeous kitten? Who loves his cuddles?
CAT: Purrrrrrr, etcetera
ME: You've got the cutest nosey, and the cutest little ears-ies, and...
CAT: Purrrrrrrrr!
ME: ...and the softest little tumm...
SENOR BITEY (for it is he): CHOMP! Rapid exit, stage left
ME: Ouch! Señor Bitey!! What did you do that for?
SENOR BITEY: Shrugs
CAT: Purrrrrrr, etcetera
ME: You've got the cutest nosey, and the cutest little ears-ies, and...
CAT: Purrrrrrrrr!
ME: ...and the softest little tumm...
SENOR BITEY (for it is he): CHOMP! Rapid exit, stage left
ME: Ouch! Señor Bitey!! What did you do that for?
SENOR BITEY: Shrugs