sfulg

One who is afflicted by an irritating condition that results in an obsessive urge to participate in a message board populated by failed media wannabes and bitter old queens.

Symptoms include repetitive regurgitation of tired in-jokes and the compulsive use of the words 'coat' and 'gets'.

Medical qualifications are usually involved, along with a desperate desire to escape the drudgery of employment in the NHS, and a doomed dream of a career as 'Captain Comedy'.

Opinion is divided about possible treatment for this condition, though it seems likely that the best advice is:

'Stop trying to force it, son. Posting on Popbitch is like shagging a chicken. Ease your way in slowly...lots of vigorous and badly timed thrusts tend to cause all sorts of flapping and squawking.

You probably do more good in an hour at work than the freaks you're trying to impress will do in their whole, sad, meaningless lives."

Enjoy.