Shirt-reader
An obnoxious person who stands in front of you when you're in a rush and takes forever to read whatever whimsical graphic tee you happen to be wearing that day out loud to you (as if you didn't know what your fucking shirt said).
Neill: I was late to Biology the other day, and to make matters worse, some shirt-reader got in my way and took forever to read my Jesus shirt to me.
Kristy: Which one?
Neill: The one that says BRB.
Kristy: Douche.
Kristy: Which one?
Neill: The one that says BRB.
Kristy: Douche.