Shitcon
Shitcon is like defcon but for shitting.
We better find a gas station soon, I'm at shitcon 1.
(Moments later)
I need to go home...I shit my pants.
(Moments later)
I need to go home...I shit my pants.
shitcone
The area of potential projection of faeces originating from the point of exit (anus) encapsulating all possible directions in which fecal matter may be found after defecation.
Timmys shitcone failed to reside entirely inside the basin.
SHITCON 1
The severe, burning urge to shit your pants, usually an individual at SHITCON 1 breaks into a cold sweat and has severe anxiety. May be preceded by an expulsion of hot flatus (fart), which often causes the seepage of stool. Often occurs in traffic; during exams; in long lines for one toilet; after spicy food; and at filthy, festering, God-awful toilets which require one to suspend oneself over the toilet, despite the risk of shitting all over your pants. Also, a common phenomenon in babies when you are out and forget to bring extra diapers. These times are especially bad when you have eaten the same thing as your child and hit SHITCON 1 yourself!
1. While taking my final exams, I developed severe cramping abdominal pain, sweating, and anxiety when I hit SHITCON 1. I had to run out of the room, identifying myself as the one who let a hot, juicy fart loose. 2. "SHITCON 1 has been reached, please clear out of the public restroom, while I scream in pain, as a liter of hot liquid stool explodes from my ass."
Alaskan shitcone
When a man shits it in two ice cream cones and shoves one up his boyfriends ass and another one in his mouth.
Matt: dude you should totally give me a Alaskan shitcone!