Shiver Me Timbers

Nowadays used in a passive aggressive way (usually by the british) at school or somewhere public when someone tries to act big and bad or naughty when they're really just a try hard.
For example:

An exclamation, of surprise or otherwise. This phrase originated from when the water or a canon would hit the ship, and the ship would shake. Hence, shivering, and timbers being the actual ship.

An exclamation, of surprise or otherwise. This phrase originated from when the water or a canon would hit the ship, and the ship would shake. Hence, shivering, and timbers being the actual ship.

Pirate for "shake my bones". Used during times of crises like, bad storms, pillaging gone wrong or seeing an ugly wench. Generally a non-wuss way of saying "I'm a-scared!"

What most people don't know is that the pirate saying "shiver me timbers" actually means to "brake the boat". You see timber is obviously wood. The word shiver is to break or split, also referring to a fragment or splinter. In other words "split my wood". This term would most likely be used in an attack from another pirate ship. It does not mean the following: getting laid, an exclamation of surprise, or that you are cold. However most people do use it as an exclamation of surprise.

Slob on my log; Blow me.
Spit shine my baton; Drive my 1 Wood; suck on MY dick.
Speak into my microphone; swallow my sword.

Something either an actual funny person would say, or a John would say and think he is world's best comedian