Shonytail
Combination of "short" and "ponytail," a shonytail is when a man pulls back his medium-length hair into a ponytail unnecessarily, so the ponytail length is about an inch long.
Patrick wanted to show off that he'd been growing his hair out for several months, so he pulled it back into a ponytail, but his friends snickered as it was more of a shonytail.