Slacksquatch
A mystical office creature, the urban equivalent of bigfoot, that is able to draw a paycheck without being seen. It survives by abusing "work from home" policies. This creature is generally shy, but can become agitated when called out on their lack of work output or general demotivational attitude. The Slacksquatch's diet consists mainly of Diet Coke and uncrushed potato chips, but they have been seen consuming the occasional Meat Mountain.
"It's 10:30AM and Todd is working from home again. I swear that dude is a damn Slacksquatch."