slubbolard
A slubbolard is a person who is both a slob and a tub of lard. A slubbolard rarely has sex, other than with him/herself on the couch next to multiple bags of potato chips. A slubbolard is the male version of 2-Ton Tessy.
Kid: why is that man moving so slow?
Dad: Because he is a full slubbolard.
Dad: Because he is a full slubbolard.