Slunker
A man or woman who would like to get a boyfriend or girlfriend, but are to lazy to do anything about it. (The noun being "Slunking", the ACTION of being too lazy to get a girl/boyfriend.)
Steve: hey man, when was the last time Fred had a girlfriend?
Bob: I have no idea, he's such a slunker, it's been ages!
Bob: I have no idea, he's such a slunker, it's been ages!
Slunker Slanking
A euphemism for masturbating.
"Fuck off dude, I'm slunker slanking."