Smashippy

One who walks the path that is only left destroyed, burned, or otherwise dead. All who stand in a smashippy's wake shall perish. Not only with their souls but only their souls. If you ever come across a smashippy, the only safe haven is a swift jump to the right, move left, and perish. For a smashippy is left-handed, sometimes ambidextrious. If you can decide that a smashipy is your friend, then do not fear the destructive powers of the smashippy, for he is loyal and will not betray his/her companions, even for bacon, which happens to be a smashippy's favorite breakfast, lunch, dinner, or even snack. (That means you, Howard Stringer.)