snake beater
One who uses stealth and evasion (like Solid Snake in the MGS series) while masturbating in a place that would not be a good place to be caught masturbating.
Young Tim: When I was a kid I used to sneak into my older brother's room, swipe his playboy magazine and hide in the closet while Solid Snake Beating.
Adult Tim: Late at night when my wife is sound sleep, I sneak down the hall into the den where my porn stash is to beat off in secrecy. I'm still a Snake Beater.
Adult Tim: Late at night when my wife is sound sleep, I sneak down the hall into the den where my porn stash is to beat off in secrecy. I'm still a Snake Beater.