Snowmack

A large, well nourished female from Colorado. She can cook hotdogs, Chef Boyardee, and Pizza Rolls. The remaining 99.343% of foodstuff must be obtained via dining out. The Snowmack is incapable of mastering gravity. Slips, falls, sprains, broken bones, contusions, abrasions and bruises result in opioid pain medications and contraptions to allow for mobility. She cannot work, yet the snowlings are in daycare so she can heal via daily Facebooking for sympathy.

The Snowmack also includes a complimentary husband that was cornered or trapped into the relationship. Most snowmacks that have been identified live with their in laws, and bitch consistently about sub standard living conditions even though the in laws charge no rent. Usually far left leaning in the political arena, the Snowmack will preach to any-all social justice warriors about ethics and morals. This preaching is accomplished while the snowlings are in daycare and she has quality time to research CNN, MSNBC, or Huffington Post.

Do not attempt to use a Snowmack as a replacement for Uber or a yellow cab. This will result in watching the Snowmack receive a DUI and attempt to place the blame on anyone within a 2.65 mile perimeter of the field Sobriety test location.

Attempts to change the method of thinking has not been successful. In standard laboratory testing, algae scored a higher on simple, logic based questions. Science has determined it may be possible to repair the damage in the Far future.