snufflepump
When you have a cold but really want to masturbate, snufflepump is the act of disguising your fapping sounds with sniffing.
"I had the best wank last night."
"Weren't you bed-bound and sick?"
"Yeah, but I snufflepumped that shit and nobody was the wiser."
"Weren't you bed-bound and sick?"
"Yeah, but I snufflepumped that shit and nobody was the wiser."