sober reflection
Sober reflection is the act of taking a great deal of time to analyze and think through something (your life) to either reaccount how far you've come, or to assist make a serious (life changing) decision.
John: Will You have a party on your birthday?
Me: Not this year, I'll stay indoors alone and have a sober reflection cos am not growing any younger.
Me: Not this year, I'll stay indoors alone and have a sober reflection cos am not growing any younger.