Sorostitute

I am a sorostitute. I'm better than you and I know it. You can find me on campus in the SUV my daddy bought for me, rocking my Chanel sunglasses, North Face jacket, Nike Shox or Rainbow sandals. I never leave my sorority house without my letters somewhere on me. I date a fratdaddy. I don't care that he cheats on me with other sorostitutes because I cheat on him too. I take him to date parties and sorority events just to end up flirting with one of his frat brothers. I don't have a major. I take the easiest core classes I can find and do minimal amounts of work. I know that my degree won't matter anyway because I'm going to end up a trophy wife. I love Greek life and hate GDIs. I laugh at them with my sisters when we go out to the bars. I go out to the bars and drink not only on weekends, but on Wednesdays and Thursdays too. I sing loudly with the songs at the bars and I don't care if people stare; I know its just because they're jealous. I spread rumors about other sororities on my campus. I call them sluts and cokeheads when in reality I know of several girls in my own house that do coke and sleep with tons of frat boys. Rush is the most important week of my life. I spend a week talking to girls who I would want wearing my letters. I ignore the girls rushing who are ugly and fat. After we choose the group of pledges I haze them physically and emotionally. I yell at them and make them cry, I take them to frat houses and make them do embarassing things. After that, I will call them my sisters. Looks are all that matters to me. I spent money that was supposed to be for books on tanning and manicures. I have had plastic surgery. I'm always well dressed. I pop my collar and all of my handbags- my Louis, my Kate Spade, my Prada- are real. If I look like this, frat boys will want me and other sororities will be jealous. I look better than you, I act better than you, I AM better than you. I'm a sorostitute.

A girl who appears to be in college. Always wearing a school sweat shirt with leggins and boots. A girl who walks around drunk most of the time jumping on whatever walks. Always with her whorority sisters. They all look like they wanna be Kesha and have their school logo on their face with their house letters located above their ass.

A walking biological hazard. A veritable incubator for an array of sexually-transmitted infections.
Marked by an apparently deteriorated central nervous system, resulting in impulsive behavior and significantly retarded decision-making abilities.
Sorostitutes can be easily identified by their characteristically orange hue and fledgling melanomas/basal cell carcinomas.
The facial features of sorostitutes are unclear; even after months of careful field research, I haven't encountered one which had a face that was not obscured by quintuple coatings of Whore Dust.
Sorostitutes are normally clad in spandex leggings to accentuate their well-toned upper legs and gluteal muscles; these are well-deserved. This muscle tone is the result of literally days spent with their legs wrapped around males wearing hair gel.
If you are foolish enough to come in contact with a sorostitute's genitalia, immediate cauterization of all affected limbs is the most sensible mode of discourse.

A member of a sorority, usually from Long Island or Westchester County (or Bethesda, or Fairfax, or....) who drives a big SUV, talks loudly on her cell phone all the time about the stupidest things, wears sex pants (which come off ever Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights at (add greek letters) fraternity. Shouldn't really be in college.

All you need is Daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect.

A sorority girl who sleeps with everything that moves and still manages to think they are better than the world.

A sorority girl who's main goal in life is to have sex with as many fraternity guys as possible, and who's ultimate goal is to bang the starting quarterback. Once they have accomplished that, they focus on banging pretty much every other athlete on campus. It is possible to identify a Sorostitute if they are driving down the road blasting any 50 Cent song.