South Park Agnostic

One who doesn't actually understand the nuances in either side of any issue, so they take a position halfway between them while deriding both as extremists. They hope to appear moderate and reasonable without having to actually research the matter and form an opinion that doesn't boil down to trendy contrarianism and false equivalence.

They do absolutely nothing to improve the human condition. They're out to elevate themselves above all parties in any given argument by shitting on all of them, without doing anything to conclusively resolve the matter. They're worse than useless, they're actively obstructing progress.