spartamon

Best pokemon ever. Appears as a halfsized Leonidas in full Greek battle armor. Capable of more than the traditional four moves, but cannot learn or forget any. The moves are as follows-

SPARTAKICK - Delivers a wonderful blow to the chest and hurls the enemy towards the nearest bottomless pit. Causes confusion.

SPARTAYELL - Reduces enemy's ATTACK and COCKSIZE. Move cannot be commanded, and is performed randomly.

PHALANX - Hardens the pokemon, increasing DEFENSE while inflicting critical damage. Causes enemy trainer frustration.

THISISSPARTA - Pokemon instantly literally explodes in a fit of rage, though the other pokemon isnt affected much, except that now it has a firm understanding of where it is in its life, and realizes that its merely a fictional character, therefor proceeding to also explode, considering its lost its will to live, causing a massive confusion for both trainers. This confusion causes the two trainers to engage in hand to hand combat, resulting in other trainers to come pick sides. The escalating combat then draws in opposing nations, which eventually leads to the downfall of man. In a video game.

GODOFWAR - Causes Kratos to interfere in a completely different video game. He appears in complete confusion, and shouts and curses at people ranting on about killing zeus, then vanishes. Nothing else really happens.