sphinctologist
One who study's Sphintology, the branch of mathematics which studies the properties and relations of garlic knots, Schrödinger's cat, and spindle fibers.
"What the hell kind of math is he doing on the board?" -Virgin nonstudier of sphinctology
"He's finding the inverse function of garlic knots per spindle fiber you fucking moron." -Alpha sphinctologist
"He's finding the inverse function of garlic knots per spindle fiber you fucking moron." -Alpha sphinctologist