Spider Militia
A group of vague and shadowy individuals who's sole purpose is to abduct people, either randomly or with an unknown premise which is equally illogical to that of David Schwimmer's existence. In extreme cases, the family of those abducted will also be taken. After being taken the individuals seem to vanish immediately and everybody who had known them seem perfectly fine with it.
Person: I'm better than anybody else because I believe I am. Since I believe it, it must be true because I am too amazing to ever be wrong.
Person #2: You better be careful, the Spider Militia is going to come and steal you and your entire family seeing as you're a pretentious snob.
Person #2: You better be careful, the Spider Militia is going to come and steal you and your entire family seeing as you're a pretentious snob.