Bernhard
Bernhard is a name for just the toughest individuals in the world. In the name Bernhard is the word "hard" thats means that a Bernhard is a hard ass motherfucker. A Bernhard isn't afraid of someone and every women loves a Bernhard. The only fault that a Bernhard has is that he has a so large dick that most of the women die when they fucks a Bernhard.
*In a funeral*
"How did she die?"
"Bernhard."
"How did she die?"
"Bernhard."
Bernhard
A beauty,extremely hot and very cute guy who is all in all perfect
This guy is just Bernhard
Bernhard
Bernhard is a Realy nice guy that everyone likes.
Bernhard is the best type of friend/girlfriend you can get.
Bernhard is the best type of friend/girlfriend you can get.
He is a Bernhard type of guy.
Bernhard
Bernhard is realy cool and insane good at every sport+gaming every girl should love Bernhard
He is a Bernhard type of guy
Bernhard
Bernhard is a guy who is just amazing. He`s always charming and funny. Also he is inteligent and hung like a elephant!
"Dude I´am feeling so good today!"
"You Sir, are a Bernhard for one day!"
"You Sir, are a Bernhard for one day!"
Bernhard
Bernhard is a typical boy bitch. He is often very vise and sexy. He is so sexy that it is irritating. Bernhards will often just shit on the floor and scream “SHIT”. Bernhard means why did I give birth to this boy.
Oh my god you are a Bernhard.
Bernadette-Bernhard scale
The most scientific scale known to man for rating the desired mouth-to-phallus ratio during the practice of oral sex. On one end of the spectrum, we have Bernadette Peters with a diminutive mouth. We'll assign her oral cavity a value of .99 carollas (unit of measurement named after Adam Carolla, a pioneer in the field of Phallometry, whose Water-Displacement Method is now the standard throughout the Penile Sciences). Multiplying this value by the average human penis size (100 carollas) yields a Carolla Psychological Satisfaction (or C.P.S.) score of 99 aces (as in, "That's just aces!"). On the other end of the spectrum, we have the less desirable orifice of Sandra Bernhard measuring .01 carollas. Once again, multiplying this value by 100 yields a score of 1 ace. This indicates that the experience of inserting the male member into Bernhard's mammoth mouth for the purpose of fellatio, while perhaps physically pleasurable, is overshadowed by the pride-shattering effects.
Monica Lewinsky: Hey, Bill, you want a BJ?
President Clinton: (covers mouthpiece of the phone he's holding) Monica, I'm on the phone with a Congressman. Sorry about that sir. (inaudible chatter from phone) Yeah, just some intern I'm banging. About a 7. But you should see the mouth on her. (more inaudible chatter) What's the Bernadette-Bernhard scale? (more chatter) Adam who? Oh, I love Birchum.
Monica Lewinsky: Bill, I'm wearing that blue dress you like.
President Clinton: Congressman, I've gotta go. But you've sure given me something to think about. Maybe I'll just work her over with a cigar.
Morgan Freeman Narrator: But he didn't. Well he did. But he also got oral. Completely rejecting the principles of the Bernadette-Bernhard scale. Two things were lost that day: America's innocence, and the confidence of the pretty well-endowed Leader of the Free World. It just goes to show you, some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are too bright. But in such a massive cage, who can see a bird anyway? Get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Mandate, get it on.
President Clinton: (covers mouthpiece of the phone he's holding) Monica, I'm on the phone with a Congressman. Sorry about that sir. (inaudible chatter from phone) Yeah, just some intern I'm banging. About a 7. But you should see the mouth on her. (more inaudible chatter) What's the Bernadette-Bernhard scale? (more chatter) Adam who? Oh, I love Birchum.
Monica Lewinsky: Bill, I'm wearing that blue dress you like.
President Clinton: Congressman, I've gotta go. But you've sure given me something to think about. Maybe I'll just work her over with a cigar.
Morgan Freeman Narrator: But he didn't. Well he did. But he also got oral. Completely rejecting the principles of the Bernadette-Bernhard scale. Two things were lost that day: America's innocence, and the confidence of the pretty well-endowed Leader of the Free World. It just goes to show you, some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are too bright. But in such a massive cage, who can see a bird anyway? Get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Mandate, get it on.