split peen soup
When you're all horny in your trailer at night and want to have a special fap, so you sneak into kitchen and grab a can of Great Value sweet peas. You open the can with your Dollar Tree can opener and dowse the peas in canola oil. You then proceed to fuck the can of peas, but because all of the products you use are cheap and you are poor and stupid, there's a jagged piece of metal on the rim of the can that suddenly splits your dick down the middle. BAM! Now you've got split peen soup.
Girlfriend: We haven't had sex in two weeks. What's wrong with you?
Boyfriend: I didn't want to say anything, but last week I had three servings of split peen soup..."
Boyfriend: I didn't want to say anything, but last week I had three servings of split peen soup..."