spreadshitting
Producing large amount of spreadsheets at a rapid pace, sometimes for dubious reasons or uncertain motives.
I spent all of last week spreadshitting for High Management's fucking KPIs.
spreadshit
An Excel spreadsheet with no redeeming value, it's purpose was to provide data but all it creates is confusion and frustration.
Bill: Do you have the forecasts for next week's production?
Ted: No, the data Rufus sent is horrible. All of it was on one ridiculous spreadshit. I asked him if he knew what a column was. He said he just finished reading one in the newspaper.
Bill: I can't believe he still works here.
Ted: The worst part is I have 400 rows worth of data in one merged cell. I don't even know how he managed that.
Ted: No, the data Rufus sent is horrible. All of it was on one ridiculous spreadshit. I asked him if he knew what a column was. He said he just finished reading one in the newspaper.
Bill: I can't believe he still works here.
Ted: The worst part is I have 400 rows worth of data in one merged cell. I don't even know how he managed that.
Spreadshite
The creation of spreadsheets to track other spreadsheets to track project details managed just fine by other types of software. Just like the floating mystery turd left behind after a toilet clog, spreadshite gives off an awful smell, is difficult to clean up, and is difficult to pin on any one person... but everyone knows who did it.
Spreadshite is usually encountered when members of management only know how to use Excel and are resistant to learning new tools to do their fucking job.
Spreadshite is usually encountered when members of management only know how to use Excel and are resistant to learning new tools to do their fucking job.
The marketing manager couldn't be bothered to learn Kanban, so instead he required his team to update sheets and sheets of spreadshite by hand.
Spreadshite
A spreadsheet that is filled with shite. Most probably it has been provided to the data team as a 'database' and contains everything from multiple date formats, to bizarre unicode characters and is unfailingly riddled with tab spaces and newlines. Whats more, a true speadshite should be sent to as 'Twenty five minutes work for the data team'.
"Did we the data exports yet? They should have sent them as XML files for each table"
"Well, we got a spreadsheet, but I'm having some trouble loading it, I get almost twice as many records when I try to parse it"
"Ohhh great, so another spreadshite, thats the 3rd time this week. Did they at least format the text fields for us?"
"Nah, chemical formulas just pasted in as ordinary cells"
"Fucking spreadshite"
"Well, we got a spreadsheet, but I'm having some trouble loading it, I get almost twice as many records when I try to parse it"
"Ohhh great, so another spreadshite, thats the 3rd time this week. Did they at least format the text fields for us?"
"Nah, chemical formulas just pasted in as ordinary cells"
"Fucking spreadshite"