Spring Hill, FL

Stretch after stretch of gridded lots and houses, a strip mall every now and then, gas stations, funeral homes, and full of people who are sent here with the notion that they will be living in Florida, the state full of sunshine. There is NOTHING to do here, unless you want to catch the early bird special at one of the restaurants that the plethora of senior citizens dine at, watch movies at the two local theaters, get molested (there are hundreds of pedophiles here), browse a selection of the shittiest stores in the country, or get into a car accident because no one seems to be able to drive even somewhat correctly. Pine Island is also relatively close, however, there has been fecal bacteria contamination in the water, along with alligator sightings. Spring Hill is topographically flat, there is no Hill. Also there is no Spring, the water dried up in a drought many years ago. Those are some common misconceptions. The land is barren and desolate when not covered by a stucco/adobe one story tacky home. Once a person moves to Spring Hill, they are financially trapped to stay for an average of ten years. So if you're thinking 'Why hey, it would be awfully nice to live in Florida, with all that sunshine and the beautiful beaches,' come on down to Spring Hill. You'll fit in just well.