Squat Hastings

There is only one. And he’s one of the baddest mfs alive. No mom is safe cause he bangs them all, can easily kill a herd of Buffalo with only his mind. It’s rumored that he’s the real reason the Japanese surrendered. Not the atomic bomb. Loves to share his pot but will kill you for your pocket change after. Made Chuck Norris cry. I once seen him get hit by a car.. the car died.. known to kiss Tylers and clap Connors. He knows exactly what the worse thing Robert has ever done and will tell the world at his funeral cause there’s nothing you can do about it pussy. Runs faster than your average horse without sweat and has trained himself to hold his breath for 6 days straight underwater so can finger bang lonely dolphins in their head holes. Screaming his name will give extreme self satisfaction. He didn’t ask to be the best but someone had to be and I would say god chose squat but squat IS god. When squat dies and is put to rest Jesus will come back and the great simulation will stop and life itself will end before our very eyes. Above average size Jim dog.