starfish baby
when a parent of a child (usually aged 2 months-2 yrs. old), straps their kid onto the front of them with one of those "baby carriers", resulting in the child looking extremely uncomfortable with their arms and legs sticking straight out... like a starfish.
christy: "look at that poor starfish baby!"
noah: "WHY WON'T YOU PEOPLE JUST CARRY YOUR GODDAMN CHILDREN?!?"
noah: "WHY WON'T YOU PEOPLE JUST CARRY YOUR GODDAMN CHILDREN?!?"