statwhacker
Someone who spends a large chunk of a Sunday during football season checking their fantasy football team and looking at porn. Doesn't have a girlfriend.
Phil won't play hoops; he's a dedicated statwhacker.
Gary: So, we going up to Chili's to split a two for twenty?
Tod: Nah, I'm gonna be statwhacking the rest of the day.
Gary: So, we going up to Chili's to split a two for twenty?
Tod: Nah, I'm gonna be statwhacking the rest of the day.