St Joseph's Prep

An elite institution that has been training the sons of bricklayers to be insurance salesman and public defenders for over 160 years. Some of the finest municipal workers in the county graduated from the Prep. Ron Pearlman once noted that he had Prep attorney knock down a DUI to a parking ticket. He said it was some the finest legal maneuvering he had seen in his lifetime by an inebriate.

Is an elite institution that trains young men to global icons. After moving out of their parents basement at 37. Many go on to living in exotic locations like Northern Liberties, Fishtown, or their dealer's couch

St. Joseph's Prep is an elite institution of the performing arts. Many of its graduates go on to put on ingenious mintrel shows satirizng irish-american life, while their agents and producers continually short change them because of their inability to perform basic arithmetic. Said producers use the illgotten gains to place bets on which of these alumni will die of cirrhosis or complications due to diabetes from obesity.