St. Mary's College of Maryland

the best school ever. you can smoke weed all day and write papers trashing capitalism all night. st. mary's is where you go to study the rest of fuckhead population USA. kids there don't give a shit what they're going to do after college, they'll be a teacher or something. this school makes you a better human being. also the professors are awesome.

Small liberal arts college on the St. Mary's River in southern Maryland. Known (though this word is used quite loosely) as the 'the Public Honors College,' St. Mary's prides itself on the things a liberal arts college normally would: a warm and intimite atmosphere, a nice campus and a broad but balanced education.

However, after a period of prolonged exposure (15 hours or more) the atmosphere of warmth and intimacy deteriorates into smugness and paranoid colostrophobia, the niceness of the campus dies along with summer leaving it a barren and bleak gulag, and the broad and balanced education you thought would make you a better overall person merely prevented you from advancing professionally in any specialized field and instead transformed you into the most pretentious drive-thru manager your local McDonald's has ever known.

Also known for frisbee golf, May Day and Hallowgreens. Whether or not you like frisbee golf (it's rarely called 'frolf' since there is no desire to save time among SMCM students as their time isn't valuable to begin with) you will find yourself dodging plastic discs at every corner of the campus. May Day, the day in which students run naked from one end of the campus to the other, is the very reason indeciency laws were drafted. Hallogreens is the crowing achievement of the drug and alcohol addictions that students have developed since their attendence; an event made even more special by the fact that students blackout in their own vomit (among other bodily fluids), dressed as their favorite 80s cartoon characters (a chilling visual representation of lost innocence. Sorry- that was the liberal arts degree talking).

If you're looking for a chance to never bathe again, save your birthday when you'll be foricibly tossed into St. Johns pond and subsequently contract cholera, to smoke weed, to drink cheap beer, to kick start a life of depression after your professors point out the infinite problems of the world without offering a glint of hope or feasable solutions resulting in you eventually blowing your brains out in the tub at the age of 27, to pop your collar and be either a WASPy bastard or a damn faux-hippie then early decision starts December 1st.

A sorry excuse for a college filled with the biggest collection of unambitious, bottom-feeding, filthy, ugly, slacker, loser, scumbag dregs of the earth to be found anywhere on this planet. One is either a 60's retread, a redneck hick, or of a lower middle class background of which you're the first to attend college. Faculty consists of third-rate teachers with degrees from third-rate (at best) institutions who couldn't find a job anywhere else. A certificate from an auto mechanic trade school would do more to make you a contributing and valued member of society than anything from this place.