Strokedendrophilia
A person who acts upon strong urges to stroke, molest and fornicate with trees. Particularly, in beach areas and local beach hangouts. Almost always involves trees with lights. The affected will usually be attired in a red blazer and a red stocking cap.
A guy walked into a bar and became excited about a tree in the corner. It was then, he aggressively approached it and seduced the young sapling. Upon doing so, he found himself indulged in a self proclaimed mating ritual. This is scientifically known as Strokedendrophilia