suburban mom

A basic white girl with 2-3 kids, lives in a 3-4 bedroom home that she bought when she was young, and is married to a whipped white male. She typically likes arts and crafts and has an etsy business or does real estate on the side. Surrounds herself with other moms or people that like to talk about her kids. Drives a minivan or SUV that's a "unique" color like blue or green. Eats a lot of sushi and says things like "I can't even" and "but... why?"

A Typical Suburban Mom drinks wine, joins “book club”, is involved in multiple carpools, and tries to keep up with the Joneses.

Drives a huge SUV to run her errands in her designer activewear. Feeds her family an organic, gluten-free, and low salt diet, but also gets regular Botox injections.

May or may not be involved in some MLM scheme.

A mother in charge of 3 or more children, drives a mini van, takes her kids to soccer practice, has THAT hair cut, you know? The really short one. Lives in the suburbs and goes to biggby every Wednesday while her kids are at soccer practice to read with her book group and if there is a minor imperfection in her order she WILL ask to speak to the manager.

ella