surrogate pooper

Surrogate pooper: A person who is designated to poo for you through their own rectum. Surrogate poopers are sought after and requested to come to the aid of friends after anal surgery when surgeons tell the rectally challenged to continue to have "normal" bowel movements after their anus has been surgically altered (this function has the pain equivalent of delivering a baby through the anal canal). A patient's surrogate pooper is one of the most altruistic individuals in perhaps the entire world.