swamp monster dick
Noun- A man who, although lacking in facial beauty, has mastered all manners of pleasure for the sex whom he so desires as a sort of insurance. These men are the unicorns of the sexual world, because he would not be able to leave you or cheat if he tried, and no one will ever want to steal him, aside from his few sexual partners.
My new man took m to dinner, and afterwards, he treated me to some swamp monster dick.