Syphilupagus
An aggressive form of syphilis only contractable by having sex with Ron Jeremy or by having his sloppy seconds. This strain of the disease turns your dick into a brown hairy mess that resembles the trunk of lovable old Mr. Snuffy.
Bro...I hooked up with this porn star last night, but I think she had just done a scene with the hedgehog. Since I got home my dick looks like a mastodon trunk and smells like the yeti. I think I have Syphilupagus