Tactical Turd Toss
A self defense method to be used if you are on the toilet during an attack or invasion. You first stand up, grab hold of your tactical turd, then proceed to toss your tactical turd at the attacker or uninvited guest.
I was in The Oval Office when I heard a windoe break, I didn't have a weapon so I did a Tactical Turd Toss and sent that would be robber running covered in shit.