Talamo

(Talamos Kevinius) The first documented sub-species of Homo Erectus that can fully communicate with regular humans. Apart from the disposition to exhibit Tourette Syndrome-like characterizations, an average talamo will be complacent unless provoked. If you are walking in the woods, do not bring any Comcast electricians or Chinese people with you, as this greatly angers the talamo. The average talamo doesn't eat much, but all of your Jack Daniels stock should be securely fastened to a tree branch at least 12 feet above the ground. If you are confronted with an enraged talamo or a mother talamo with cubs, there are many methods you may employ to escape with little to no harm. Some Jack Daniels thrown in the opposite direction could give you ample time to run away. Simple magic tricks, loud fireworks, discussing Verizon FIOS, or asking embarrassing, misleading questions could leave the talamo in a state of stupor for long enough to get away.