talk to a bear
When you're camping and you have to shit so bad that you walk off with some t.p. and squat next to a tree and poo.
"You guys have any t.p.? - cause I gotta go and talk to a bear!!"
like talking to a dead bear
When you talk to someone and they either; don't care, don't listen, don't understand or didn't hear you correctly, or at all.
God! That (insert name of dusty old teacher past retirement) doesn't listen, it's like talking to a dead bear.
Talking to bear
Taking a dump. A reference to Bear and the Big Blue House’s potty training episode.
“Where have you been?”
“Sorry I was talking to bear”
“Sorry I was talking to bear”