technitard
noun - A non-(politically correct) term used to describe a person who may or may not be book-smart, but when he/she is put into any technical-type situation... he/she is totally lost. A technical retard. One who is completely overwhelmed, can not figure out (or is afraid to try), anything of a technical nature without guidance and/or an easy-to-read instruction manual. Completely lacking the self-confidence to: repair, replace, configure, make-right, assemble, dismantle, remove, install, build, or explain anything technical.
A technitard is the person who consistently has the flashing 12:00 on any device with a digital clock. Example: You walk into their home and your eyes are immediately drawn to the old VCR... it's blue digits blinking 12 clock on the display!