big lip mcraney

big lip mcraney is a legendary warrior said to take the life force of every unfortunate soul during marching season who is put on parade rest for the event. there are many different rumors as to how he came to be big lip mcraney. The first legend told, those by the great 2016 band members, is this:

Big lip mcraney started as a young man in the south east town of big brain. Big lip mcraney then was crust lip mcraney, and he simply could not catch a break conducting his middle school band because of his pretty much shedding lips. He was always being told he’d never have full, luscious lips. Then one day, he had a wonderful idea to put one of his disobedient trumpets in parade rest. Suddenly, the light left his face and a big, light energy started to emit from him. That energy transferred to crust lip mcraney’s lips, and his lips were no longer crusty. From then on, big lip mcraney swore to take the life force of anyone who challenged him on the field, making his lips, bigger, fuller, and glisten more and more each time.

Residency of big lip mcraney is unknown, other then leaving to the hot water area, seeking stronger life forces for his thiqque lips. We shall never know if he will return the life forces of those poor souls, but all we know is that one day, he’ll return to once again take the life force of those who don’t know their sets, making his lips the most powerful beings in the cosmos.