the angry ape

The angry ape is a complicated and twisted sexual act; it requires a willing man and a sometimes unwilling dwarf, midget, or downie. To complete this unimaginable deed, one first probes the female's vagina with both fists in the doggy style position, and then proceeds to insert the hard on into the anus, whether it is clean or dirty, shaven or hairy. Once in this position, the male has entered the hunched-over ape stance that gives this act its name, and only needs to proceed with fucking both the anus with the erect penis and the vagina with the fists. While doing the female, it is a requirement but usually a side effect to make inhumane apelike noises. Once orgasm has been attained, discarding of the female to the proper trash receptacle is recommended.

The act of ejaculating in a woman or man's face, depending on sexual orientation, then shaving one's pubic hairs so that they stick to the woman or man's face, making him or her resemble an ape, and an angry one at that.

Vigorously swinging your hips back and forth so that your Nuts and Johnson slap against your stomach and your grundle, emulating an angry ape swinging through the forest floor. Depending upon the size of your penis, it can either be called swinging monkey or an ape. Whatever the case may be, it must be angry. This gesture is usually done to a roommate, teammate or just someone that cut you off on the freeway. Although this movement may be hazardous to the health of your nut sack, it is heaps of fun and can turn any situation into a nut slappin comedy hour! WARNING: Attempting this act on a moving vehicle requires practice and coordination. Please practice in front of a mirror first before releasing the anger of the Ape in public.