The Hipster Paradox
Since all hipsters are wanna-bes by their very definition, through reviving dead fads and believing in things too obscure to be known outside of hipsterdom, they are not anything at all, and therefore, cannot exist.
I totally thought John was a real person until I found out he was hipster. Dude, he doesn't even have a reflection, I'm pretty sure. The hipster paradox rings true once more.
Hipster paradox
The definition of a hipster is that they are nit and do not like mainstream things. But since hipsters are now mainstream, then they must like mainstream things.
Fuck you you dirty hypocritical cretin, using the hipster paradox.