The Holy Canon of The Leicester House Party

These are the Four Sacred Truths of The Big-Booty Bottom Bitch himself, Daddy Jakeypoo.

Thou doth handcuffs thyself to thine bedpost during the act of sexual intercourse
His Daddyness doest enjoy ins'rting a dildo into his rampallian during amorous rite
The divine Daddyness doth also enjoyeth the reception of intercourse through the floppy pocket pussy whilst handcuffed to thine holy bedpost
Thine most holiest of Phat Cocks hast been reveal’d to us unworthy mortals as uncircumcised with curdles of thine most delicious cheese held within
For every house party, a role must be filled to maintain the sacred balance of the almighty Lauren’s Bisexuality. It is a force that balances the Sexaul Force as we know it. For every house party there must be a Lauren, for whom the others shall balance. With the Four Sacred Truths, Lauren fulfills her Straight lust. This lust, however, must be tempered and balanced by the passionate embrace of a Darcey, whom penetrates her with the Phat Cock Dildo of Lesbian Love. Just as there are Four Sacred Truths, so too must there be a forth person in the ritual, an Evalina. The Evalina is but a mere cuck that sits in the corner and observes the ritual, furling their own desires from a distance, this gives the Bisexuality an exit from the ritual and disperses the lust out into the universe, thus completing the The Holy Canon of The Leicester House Party.