The IMPEDE Continuum
A theory which states that a universe is created from sheer awesomeness and the awesomeness which creates a universe radiates from someone with sheer awesomeness. The awesomeness obstructs any other force which can potentially create life or the like - Hence, it is called the "IMPEDE Continuum". (FYI, if you don't know, Impede means to obstruct.) In other words, awesomeness created the universe and everything else was created by China. Awesome right?
Person 1: Guess what?
Person 2: What?
Person 1: Totally did something awesome.
Person 2: And that was...?
Person 1: I created this theory about how awesomeness can create a universe. I called it "The IMPEDE Continuum"
<Explains The IMPEDE Continuum>
Person 1: Awesome right?
Person 2: Awesome....
<awkward silence>
Person 2: I wonder what kind of universe just got created...
Person 2: What?
Person 1: Totally did something awesome.
Person 2: And that was...?
Person 1: I created this theory about how awesomeness can create a universe. I called it "The IMPEDE Continuum"
<Explains The IMPEDE Continuum>
Person 1: Awesome right?
Person 2: Awesome....
<awkward silence>
Person 2: I wonder what kind of universe just got created...